Oh boy... this is a complicated one and I'm sure I'm going to do this explanation a disservice. I'll speak only for myself, then, and not pretend to speak for all Buddhists. Detachment from feelings and emotions is a useful tool, and it leads to deeper understanding of those feelings and emotions. But too be completely detached from feelings and emotions (as in, to be completely without them) besides being impossible is also at odds at the compassion and loving-kindness that is at the core of Buddhism.

OK, technical experts... take over...

Which (depending on the answer to my first question) might just beg another question: how do Buddhists manage their feelings?

one way to put it is not to detach from emotion, but from attachment to that emotion. To fully experience an emotion, but not get carried away by it.

Once you find yourself in amongst those swirling thoughts and emotions, you can experience things more, not less.

or something.

;-)

Rich
Xx

I believe that being detached from feelings and emotions does not suggest that Buddhists do not in fact feel or have emotions, but rather that they can disconnect themselves from the feelings and not identify the feeling as themself. To be able to observe an emotion as an emotion, and a feeling as a feeling without reacting to it is a powerful tool in bringing peace into ones life.

Another thing: you're friend may be speaking of the idea of being detached from desire and fear, since both of those tend to put one in a situation whereby you create negative karma. Being detached from desire and from fear and from sense gratification can lead to a purer life.

No, it's a complete misunderstanding of Buddhism. Buddhism does not teach that we should become unfeeling robots. In fact the opposite. Real detachment is being free to have a pure emotional response that is not self centered, and that frees us to feel more deeply and more spontaneously.

Our feelings are reflections of our state at a given point in time. A personality is a symphony changing over time, and never really stops until you die. When you attempt to get a glimpse of your own feelings you are seeing a momentary snapshot of the aftermath of your individual tune. Your individual score dictates not only what you capable of seeing and how you perceive your own feelings, but how others perceive the way you respond to and communicate with them. And your tune determines what you are capable of perceiving in yourself and how you interpret stimuli from your environment. So, you see and feel about others based on the music playing in you. When you take the case of two people communicating with one another, you are superimposing one symphony upon another, and the interference pattern that's created is what is generally termed as emotion, though each person perceives this same emotion differently to a greater or lesser degree. We tend to hang with people who vibrate around a similar tune (perceives things in a similar way). Feeling is based on individual perception and best not be categorized by religion.

My understanding is the goal is not to grasp or repel. We all have feelings, as a Buddhist my practice is to allow my feelings to move through me, notice them but not grasp them. I can be sad, happy even lustful. My feelings are neither good or bad they just are. If I sit with my feelings they will move on. What I do about my feelings is what creates karma.